I have food poisoning. I have the flu. My kid is sick. Trouble with my car. Someone is in the hospital. I have a cold. Tragedy in the family. Doctor's appointment. I have the runs. I'm sick. I had an allergic reaction to something. Relative's funeral. I got in a car accident. I'm snowed in. There was a death in the family. I have a crazy migraine. I need a personal day. Emergency dental repair. I need a mental health day. Because I earned it!. I'm selected for jury duty. I'm dead. My pet is sick. My flight back into town got cancelled. I have to meet with my kid's teacher. The roads around my house are closed due to weather. I locked my keys in my car. I have a bladder infection. I have lice. I'm waiting for a plumber. I'm moving. I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed. My sister/best friend is going into labor. Someone tried to rob me during the night. I have bad cramps. I pooed in my pants on the way to work. My toilet exploded. Electricity went out. Spring fever. Already completed all of my tasks. I lost my glasses. I don't want to go to my shitty job today. I won $500 million in the lottery, I quit!. I have to drive someone to the airport.